Anniversary
by NemesisFate
Summary: Sequel to Lover Before Him. Harry comes out to Hermione with some notsopleasant effects


Title: Anniversary

Author: Nemesis

Pairing: HP/SS

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Very much not mine. Pity.

Feedback: Takes place in-between "Lover Before Him" and "Lover After Me." Harry punishes himself for hurting Hermione, and Severus tries to get Harry to see he was right in doing so.

Beta: The amazing and absolutely wonderful Chrysos!

Challenge: "Coming Out" challenge.

Archive: Dawn-to-Dusk Wave IX

Harry stared morosely into the fire, holding up a shot glass in mock-salute. He threw it back, eyes watering briefly at the burn of the scotch.

"Okay, you've had enough," a voice informed him, plucking the shot glass and the bottle of scotch out of his hand. "What is this about?" he asked.

Harry stared at Severus, eyes unfocused. "'S the anniversary," he mumbled.

"Well, as it is certainly not our anniversary, I'd love to know whose, or what's, anniversary it is."

"Mine… kinda," Harry answered, slurring slightly.

"God, you're drunk. Completely and utterly drunk. And how is it kinda your anniversary? Anniversary of what?"

"'Mione," Harry slurred, trying to stand up. Severus caught him deftly.

"Honestly, I don't see why you're celebrating that if you were miserable in the relationship."

"Not c'lebration… punishent."

"Uh-huh. You don't have to punish yourself for that, either."

Harry shook his head. "'Mione miser'ble… my fault…. all my fault….."

"She would be even more miserable in a relationship with you if you weren't in love with her, Harry. You don't have to punish yourself because you weren't in love with her," Severus reasoned.

"Shouldna donnit. Shoulda told 'er no."

"You were confused then, and you got yourself out of it. You don't have to do this to yourself," Severus explained gently.

"Punishent," Harry insisted. "Forgettin' it. I didn't wanna 'urt 'er."

"I'm sure you didn't want to make her miserable," Severus answered reassuringly. "Let's get you into bed."

He picked Harry up effortlessly and put him gently down on their bed. "Sleep. I'll make a Hangover Potion for you. You'll need it tomorrow."

He left the room and entered his workroom.

The next morning, he was woken by a loud groan. "Damnit, shouldn't've drunk so bloody much last night. My head…"

Severus handed him the Hangover Potion wordlessly. Harry downed it immediately.

"Damn, you're good."

Severus smiled wickedly. "The benefits of dating a Potions Master. Now, explain to me what last night was all about. That was a ridiculous affair, if you want to know."

Harry hung his head. "I still have residual guilt from that unfortunate situation."

"Oh God, I know you've been spending far too much time in my company and no one else's when your vocabulary improves drastically. And that's not the only reason, by the way."

Harry shook his head. "I haven't told Hermione yet."

"Told her what?" Severus demanded, suddenly confused.

"That we're dating," Harry clarified.

"It is none of her business, quite frankly," Severus answered.

"It is. She is… was… my friend. Maybe is. I dunno. It's only been four months since I broke up with her. I dunno if she's over it yet."

Severus sighed and pulled Harry into a half-hug. "You still feel absolutely horrible about yourself, don't you?"

Harry nodded and sniffed slightly.

"Look at me."

Harry obeyed immediately.

"It is not your fault that you did not love her. It is not your fault."

Harry shrugged.

"I think I should tell her, though. Maybe she'll feel different about it if she knows that I wasn't in love with her because I couldn't be… 'cause I was gay."

Severus sighed. "You can tell her if you want; you have nothing to hide. But try to avoid getting slapped again, okay?"

Harry nodded and looked up at Severus with his grass-green eyes. "Thank you." He kissed Severus sweetly.

Severus smiled. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you, too," Harry answered.

Harry stood and dressed.

Severus watched from their bed. "Where are you going?"

"To talk to Hermione."

Severus nodded and stood up as well. "Good luck," he said and bent down to kiss Harry.

"Mm… Thanks, I think I'll need it."

He left and went straight to Hermione's rooms. He knocked reluctantly.

Hermione opened the door and looked at him with some trepidation. "What do you want?" she asked stiffly.

"To talk to you for a moment," Harry answered.

"Come in," she invited after a moment's pause. Harry entered and sat down immediately. Hermione sat down across from him.

"I thought you might want to know that it wasn't you," Harry began hesitantly.

Hermione chuckled. "Usually it's the women who say that particular line."

Harry plowed on despite the interruption. "I couldn't have been with you like I couldn't have been with any woman. I'm gay, Hermione."

Hermione's world dropped out and flipped upside-down. "Gay?" she asked finally.

Harry nodded. "Yes. And dating."

"Dating?" Hermione asked sharply. "Whom?"

Harry fidgeted with his hands. "Severus."

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and counted to ten. Slowly. She took a deep breath. She counted back to one. Slowly.

She opened her eyes finally. "Severus."

Harry nodded.

"And _he_ can make you happy in a way that _I_ couldn't?" she demanded.

Harry nodded again. "I love him very much, Hermione."

"I love you. That didn't help matters any," Hermione answered bitterly.

"He loves me," Harry supplied.

"A man like him can't love anyone. He's playing you, don't you see it? He wants to corrupt you," Hermione scoffed.

Hot, angry tears rose to Harry's eyes. He blinked them away angrily.

"You're just saying that because you're jealous. You don't want to think of him succeeding where you failed."

Hermione sputtered indignantly. "I _failed!_"

Harry nodded somberly.

"_You _failed in this relationship. I did everything to keep it going, short of becoming a man to please your goddamned homosexual tendencies!" Hermione had jumped up by the second sentence and finished her thought with a roar.

Harry took a deep breath to calm himself. "I didn't split up with you only because you were a woman. I split up with you because I didn't love you. I wasn't about to torture both of us by being in this if I didn't love you. I love Severus. I love him beyond belief, which is why I'm with him."

"You didn't want to torture me?" Hermione hissed, sitting down again. "Staying with me would have been far less torture than to discover all this. And how can you say you love him? He made your life miserable for nearly seven years!"

"He saved my life many times over!"

"Oh, so now _that's_ my shortcoming? I didn't save your fucking life?"

"No! That's not it! Look, he became my friend after the war. We forgave each other for that."

"Oh, so now it's that I wasn't a good enough friend?"

Harry considered strangling Hermione for being so annoying.

"No. That's not it. I'm only attempting to answer your claim that he made my life miserable for seven years."

"Oh, that's right. I forgot. You were trying to explain to me how you could ever love your most hated teacher."

"Look, I didn't mean to hurt you. That's why you're doing this, isn't it? You don't want to believe that I'm happy with somebody other than you. You want me to come back to you. I can't, Hermione, I simply can't."

"But you can love somebody who's just playing you. Who's just fucking you because he knows he can. He doesn't love you. He can't love you. Like I said, a man like that can't love. He was a spy; he learned how to manipulate people."

"And can't you believe that he's sincere? That he can have feelings? You haven't seen that look in his eye when he looks at me. There's real love in there, Hermione, I can tell."

"He can manipulate people. He has done it his entire life. He can manipulate, but he can't love. He doesn't love you, don't you see that? He's manipulating you! He's going to leave you broken and hurt, and then you aren't going to be able to see straight anymore. He's poisoning you!"

Harry stood up. "I have nothing more to say. Good-bye."

He left and went straight back down to the dungeons. He sat down on the sofa dejectedly.

Severus came out of his workroom. "So, how'd it go?"

"Not well," Harry sighed.

Severus sat down and pulled Harry into a half-hug. "What happened?" he asked curiously.

Harry snuggled up to Severus' side. "Well, I told her I was gay and dating you."

"You could've given her some time to adjust to the gay part," Severus interrupted.

Harry shrugged. "True. Then she asked me how I could go out with someone who spent nearly seven years making my life miserable."

"What did you say?"

"That we put that behind us. I told her I loved you and that you loved me."

Severus mock-frowned. "Now I shall be forced to kill you. You have given away my greatest secret."

Harry looked up at his lover, frowning, and saw the twinkling of Severus' black eyes. Harry laughed. "You're joking; it's written all over your face."

Severus chuckled. "How very right you are," he admitted. "So, now what?"

"She told me that you aren't capable of love. She told me you're just manipulating me into believing you. That you're just playing me. That you're just fucking me because you can. That you're corrupting me."

Severus' eyes narrowed. "And?"

"I told her that you aren't. That you love me. There's that look in your eye every time you look at me. A look of indescribable, deep love. She told me you were a spy, that you could manipulate anyone."

Severus cupped Harry's face. "Look at me. That's a lie. I…"

"Shhh…" Harry silenced him. "I don't believe her. I know you. I love you. I trust you deeply. If you say you love me, I believe you. And you say you love me. I know it. I know you love me."

Severus kissed him. "Thank you," he murmured against Harry's lips. "Thank you."

Harry leaned his forehead against Severus'.

"But I am going to have a serious talk with her about that."

"Severus…"

"No. She has no right to say any of those things. She has no right to spread any of those lies about me. She has no right, and I'm going to make sure she realizes it."

Harry nodded slowly. "Just promise me you won't hex her."

Severus smiled. "I won't. I promise."

Harry smiled back and kissed Severus again. "God, I love you."

"I love you too."

Severus stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"To talk to Professor Granger."

"Now?"

"Why not?"

"Give her some time, please. Severus, I'm worried about you. She's seething right now."

Severus sat down again. "Very well. I'll wait until tomorrow."

Harry smiled. "Thank you."

The next day, Severus dressed very calmly. He pocketed his wand tranquilly. He left their rooms and headed straight to Hermione's. He knocked and waited patiently.

Hermione opened the door.

"Severus," she said simply. "What do you want?"

"Can a colleague not call upon a colleague?"

"You want something. What is it?"

"Very well. I wish to talk to you. May I enter?"

Hermione nodded and stepped out of the way. Severus entered and waited patiently until Hermione told him to sit. She did with a wave of her hand. Severus took a seat.

"Now," he began, joining the tips of his fingers and staring at them speculatively. "I have an issue with some of the things you told my boyfriend yesterday. Some rather upsetting things."

"That is none of your business!"

"That is where you are wrong, Professor Granger. It is every bit of my business what you tell my boyfriend about me. I particularly object to the statement that I don't love him. That I can't love him."

"You can't," she stated. "You can't."

"That is a lie, Professor Granger. I can and do."

"You're corrupting him."

"I'm not."

"You are."

Severus sighed. "You don't seem to get it. I won't tolerate such lies being told about me. I hear about them again, and I will hex you."

"Albus won't let you."

Severus chuckled dryly. "Don't tell me what he will and won't let me do. You see, he would, if I told him why. He would defend my honor more fervently than I would."

Hermione snarled. Severus met her gaze with a hardened one.

He stood. "I meant it," he said lightly, danger coursing underneath the words. "If I ever hear that you told those lies about me again, you will live to regret it. And I don't make light threats."

Hermione hissed angrily. "You stole him from me…"

"I did not steal him from you. He is not a piece of property. Harry is a human being with thoughts and feelings. And if those thoughts and feelings are directed at me and not at you, that does not mean you have the right to do anything about it. Good-bye, Professor Granger."

He left and headed back down to their rooms.

"What happened?" Harry asked.

"Not much." Severus related what had happened.

"I told her the truth: that I loved you," he finished.

Harry smiled widely. "I love you, too."

-- End.


End file.
